Okay guys. Lack of posts, I know. Whatever.
Tonight is going to be me venting about how much of a fuck up I am, and how much I wish I could go jump off of a bridge right now, but can't. Regardless, hold on to your metaphorical hats.
Okay, there are three situations that I need to get through, once that's done with, then I'll stop venting. Promise.
1. Okay, guy who I'm friends with, we're really close, almost had a fling going on. Is sort of a friends with benefits thing. Anyways, I care about this dude a helluva lot, but unfortunately, he and I can never date. It's complicated, and I do not want to discuss it here. But, if you talk to me privately, I'll get back to you. Anyways, he and I are really close. He talks about his best friend, we'll call him Max, a lot. And I was curious about meeting this guy. He seemed really cool. I asked about meeting him sometime, and he gave me an evasive answer and moved on. I was confused, because, why would you not want me to talk to someone? Are they injected with pure evil or something? Anyways, I saw this guy at Pride today. I went and talked to him on a hunch that it was the same person. It was, anyways, Max and I ended up talking, and I said I'd like to hang sometime. We exchanged numbers, said our goodbyes, and separated. I texted him a little later, bored, and ready to do something else, and asked him if he wanted to hang. He said sure, we went and got coffee, talked, walked around the mall. No big deal. We ended up going back to his place and hanging out more, we fooled around a little. I left, the end. Or at least, I thought it was. Anyways, I told the first guy, who I'll call Mike, that I had hung out with Max. He said Max had told him, and asked me if we'd done anything. I said we fooled around. Mike didn't reply to my text. I sent him one back that said that I though Max was a nice guy, and I wasn't sure why I couldn't hang with. No response. End of sit. 1.
2. Okay, two guys who I'm talking to. One is older, works in an adult book store, and is really cute/funny/nice. The other guy is early 20's, cute/funny, but not my type. I had asked guy number one to hang out today, he said sure. And then he got body paint at Pride and wandered around by himself. I assumed that he didn't want to hang out. And it also irritates me that he never texts me and asks to hang out. Except the very first time we hung out. The other times, has been all me. I finally sent him a text, after he saw me tonight with boy #2, and asked why I was with him. I told him how I felt about boy #2, and then told him that I really liked him. And that I wanted to be with him, but it seemed like I bothered him every time I texted him. And I also pointed out the fact that he didn't really wanna hang tonight. He didn't respond to the text. I have yet to tell boy #2 that I'm not super interested, but I'm not sure how to, because he's really nice and cute. But..not who I want.
Finally, I don't have a third situation, I'm just frustrated with myself, and ready to cry. And, I don't know what to do.
So thank you Internet, for letting me vent. I appreciate it.
Tonight is going to be me venting about how much of a fuck up I am, and how much I wish I could go jump off of a bridge right now, but can't. Regardless, hold on to your metaphorical hats.
Okay, there are three situations that I need to get through, once that's done with, then I'll stop venting. Promise.
1. Okay, guy who I'm friends with, we're really close, almost had a fling going on. Is sort of a friends with benefits thing. Anyways, I care about this dude a helluva lot, but unfortunately, he and I can never date. It's complicated, and I do not want to discuss it here. But, if you talk to me privately, I'll get back to you. Anyways, he and I are really close. He talks about his best friend, we'll call him Max, a lot. And I was curious about meeting this guy. He seemed really cool. I asked about meeting him sometime, and he gave me an evasive answer and moved on. I was confused, because, why would you not want me to talk to someone? Are they injected with pure evil or something? Anyways, I saw this guy at Pride today. I went and talked to him on a hunch that it was the same person. It was, anyways, Max and I ended up talking, and I said I'd like to hang sometime. We exchanged numbers, said our goodbyes, and separated. I texted him a little later, bored, and ready to do something else, and asked him if he wanted to hang. He said sure, we went and got coffee, talked, walked around the mall. No big deal. We ended up going back to his place and hanging out more, we fooled around a little. I left, the end. Or at least, I thought it was. Anyways, I told the first guy, who I'll call Mike, that I had hung out with Max. He said Max had told him, and asked me if we'd done anything. I said we fooled around. Mike didn't reply to my text. I sent him one back that said that I though Max was a nice guy, and I wasn't sure why I couldn't hang with. No response. End of sit. 1.
2. Okay, two guys who I'm talking to. One is older, works in an adult book store, and is really cute/funny/nice. The other guy is early 20's, cute/funny, but not my type. I had asked guy number one to hang out today, he said sure. And then he got body paint at Pride and wandered around by himself. I assumed that he didn't want to hang out. And it also irritates me that he never texts me and asks to hang out. Except the very first time we hung out. The other times, has been all me. I finally sent him a text, after he saw me tonight with boy #2, and asked why I was with him. I told him how I felt about boy #2, and then told him that I really liked him. And that I wanted to be with him, but it seemed like I bothered him every time I texted him. And I also pointed out the fact that he didn't really wanna hang tonight. He didn't respond to the text. I have yet to tell boy #2 that I'm not super interested, but I'm not sure how to, because he's really nice and cute. But..not who I want.
Finally, I don't have a third situation, I'm just frustrated with myself, and ready to cry. And, I don't know what to do.
So thank you Internet, for letting me vent. I appreciate it.
