When I started my sophomore year of college, I had a lot of expectations for myself.
1. Pass all of my classes (preferably with B's or above)
2. Practice a lot more (2 hours or more a day)
3. Work out every day (Fit into those size 32 jeans)
4. Be a better person (Nice, kind, funny Isaak)
And after a few days, I figured that now would be the best time for me to do this examination. Especially since grades will be coming out in a few days, and I have a feeling that I'm not going to like what I see.
1. Pass all of my classes
I have to admit, this is the one that hurt me the most. Because, even if I had the intention of doing this, it hasn't actually happened.
I failed two classes this year.
Not only that, but I didn't get to a point where my class can be considered as passable for my major.
When I first realized this, I swore. A lot.
I couldn't deal with the idea that I'm slowing down even more in my ever futile pursuit to graduate 'on time'. And I keep trying to find someone besides myself to blame, but guess what?
I'm to blame.
People always say that freshman year is the most difficult, but no matter how difficult (or not difficult) my freshman year was, I screwed up way more this last year than I have during my freshman year.
I spent way more time worrying about my social life, and video-games than I have my studies: and it's really showing.
Now that I'm away from the dorms, away from the 'pressure' of school, I can critically acknowledge that I have to change something.
If not, well, I'm betting everyone will be really happy when I take that seventh year to finish my degree.
2. Practice a lot more
In a way, I have begun to accomplish that, but only a little bit. I'm not anywhere near where I'd like to be; but I'm getting better.
Every day I'm working a bit more. And this summer is already trumping last summer in that: I'm actually practicing. I have things to work on, and stuff is getting done.
This is progress.
3. Exercise more
This has had it's ups and downs. But, I'm working my way through it. This year was definitely not year of 'fit' Isaak. But, this summer is starting to change. I have to consistently work every day to remind myself that there is a reason that I'm doing this.
I want to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and be able to like the way I look.
So, running more, doing just more activity: this is already helping me out.
4. Be kinder
Bits and bits, every day is getting a bit better. Am I still the most sarcastic person on the face of the planet? You bet your ass I am.
This last year has made me realize this:
Nothing in life comes without effort. Everything is earned, not gained.
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth." -Alphonse Elric
The law of Equivalent Exchange.
I've been manipulating the system for a very long time, hoping that I can get through life without really putting in the necessary work to achieve.
But the time to think like that is over.
I will never give up, no matter how hopeless the situation seems, no matter how dark the darkness is. No matter how impossible it seems to learn something.
If it takes me six years to finish an undergrad degree, then by god, I will be the most knowledgeable undergrad of them all.
If it wasn't for the people in my life, this thought might have never formed in my head.
I love you all, and you are that which gives me strength.
I will fight, tooth and nail, to achieve that which I desire.
1. Pass all of my classes (preferably with B's or above)
2. Practice a lot more (2 hours or more a day)
3. Work out every day (Fit into those size 32 jeans)
4. Be a better person (Nice, kind, funny Isaak)
And after a few days, I figured that now would be the best time for me to do this examination. Especially since grades will be coming out in a few days, and I have a feeling that I'm not going to like what I see.
1. Pass all of my classes
I have to admit, this is the one that hurt me the most. Because, even if I had the intention of doing this, it hasn't actually happened.
I failed two classes this year.
Not only that, but I didn't get to a point where my class can be considered as passable for my major.
When I first realized this, I swore. A lot.
I couldn't deal with the idea that I'm slowing down even more in my ever futile pursuit to graduate 'on time'. And I keep trying to find someone besides myself to blame, but guess what?
I'm to blame.
People always say that freshman year is the most difficult, but no matter how difficult (or not difficult) my freshman year was, I screwed up way more this last year than I have during my freshman year.
I spent way more time worrying about my social life, and video-games than I have my studies: and it's really showing.
Now that I'm away from the dorms, away from the 'pressure' of school, I can critically acknowledge that I have to change something.
If not, well, I'm betting everyone will be really happy when I take that seventh year to finish my degree.
2. Practice a lot more
In a way, I have begun to accomplish that, but only a little bit. I'm not anywhere near where I'd like to be; but I'm getting better.
Every day I'm working a bit more. And this summer is already trumping last summer in that: I'm actually practicing. I have things to work on, and stuff is getting done.
This is progress.
3. Exercise more
This has had it's ups and downs. But, I'm working my way through it. This year was definitely not year of 'fit' Isaak. But, this summer is starting to change. I have to consistently work every day to remind myself that there is a reason that I'm doing this.
I want to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and be able to like the way I look.
So, running more, doing just more activity: this is already helping me out.
4. Be kinder
Bits and bits, every day is getting a bit better. Am I still the most sarcastic person on the face of the planet? You bet your ass I am.
This last year has made me realize this:
Nothing in life comes without effort. Everything is earned, not gained.
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth." -Alphonse Elric
The law of Equivalent Exchange.
I've been manipulating the system for a very long time, hoping that I can get through life without really putting in the necessary work to achieve.
But the time to think like that is over.
I will never give up, no matter how hopeless the situation seems, no matter how dark the darkness is. No matter how impossible it seems to learn something.
If it takes me six years to finish an undergrad degree, then by god, I will be the most knowledgeable undergrad of them all.
If it wasn't for the people in my life, this thought might have never formed in my head.
I love you all, and you are that which gives me strength.
I will fight, tooth and nail, to achieve that which I desire.
