Confessions of a confused Drama Queen

So....today I have a lot of things that I really, seriously need to get off of my chest. Because, if I don't talk about it now, I'm going to just break down and turn into a hot mess. Although, I already feel like a hot mess, I feel like I'm sort of doing that right now, but whatever. I'm sorry if I offend people, but there will be the occasional not PG word within this blog entry. Just a warning, I promise that I will attempt to use it sparingly.

Today I came to a realization about a few things in my life, all of which are highly impactful on everything I do. But, whatever, I'm just here to say my piece and get out. (I'll list them and then explain each one after the list)

1) I'm probably one of the most cynical, whiny, rude, and obnoxious people on the face of the planet. No joke. It's kind of sick of you think about it.

2) No matter how hard I try, I cannot bring myself to be accepting of religion, in any form. All of it drives me insane, because I want there to be some sort of connecting force within it that can make it seem fair to everyone. I've also decided that the only thing that vaguely describes what I believe in would be 'deistic', which I will also explain later in this entry.

3) My sexual orientation has become a sort of weapon that I use to bash people, no matter what the situation. Especially when arguing about religion.

4) No matter how tough I try to be, I have so many weak spots in my armor that archers would have a field day trying to decided which one to hit first. One comment, one action, one event, can totally shatter any semblance of self-esteem or self-worth that I possess.

5) My vocabulary has gone WAY down hill. I have to seriously put myself in check about things I say most of the time, and it bothers me that as soon as I get into a position where I believe I can be apathetic, I stop putting on a filter and everything goes to hell. 

So...explanations now, yes?

1) My first statement/realization/whatever is the acknowledgement that I am sort of useless in a lot of different things. Such as dealing with social interactions or anything remotely close to dealing with people. I'm horridly mean to people in my comments sometimes, and although I always say that I would say it to their face, I probably never would. Which makes me excruciatingly passive aggressive about stuff sometimes. That whole 'don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' rule might as well not even exist when I'm talking about someone. All I can do is pick at people I have deemed 'disliked'. Or at people I really do like. I will find one thing and just rant about how much it bothers me, and mock them for their apparent 'flaw', endlessly sometimes. I can think of a few people that I seriously mock all the time, but I'm not sure if I would ever say anything nice to them. I'm also horridly incapable of accepting a compliment from anyone, at least on a few things. I can accept compliments and criticism about my viola performance easily, no problem. But if anyone criticizes me or compliments me on my physical appearance, mental out-look, etc, I cannot take it seriously. I just shut it down in my head before I have any time to process it. I also complain about well, virtually, everything. Sometimes not out loud, but in my head I can go on for hours about how much I dislike doing something. Which, after getting shot down by a few people makes me think it is one of my qualities that leaves something to be desired (such as the ability to keep my mouth shut). I also have the insatiable need to be loud about everything, especially when I'm talking. Or feeling the need to talk a great deal about anything. I have a sort of verbal diarrhea attack. I probably also bother just random people I pass in public with comments that I have made, or how loud my volume is. It bothers the crap out of me when I think about it.


2. I told my family today that I am uncomfortable going to church. I lied and said that I didn't mind going to Grace, the church I grew up in, but even then: I still feel awkward and isolated from everyone else in the building. I have serious issues on what I believe on the whole 'how life started, and what humans are doing here' thing. I believe, as a deist, that the world was started by a higher power, and then the higher power just decided that humanity should be left to itself. I have used my sexual orientation as a sort of barrier between myself and any sort of religion, because after all, if people follow the 'by the book' thing with the Bible, I'm technically some sort of strange hellspawn from a different dimension that should just spontaneously combust, because I have no worth. And I have taken that to an extreme of almost every religion or church group. That I, as a gay man, will not and should not be accepted in any of the places where they use the Christian Bible, or follow the Torah, or the Koran, or the Upanishads. I am simply to wallow in my own 'misfit' status, and struggle, and deal with being uncomfortable with the idea of religion. I grew up learning from the Christian Bible, I studied the scriptures, I followed my Sunday school teachers words carefully, I truly believed that Jesus was the answer to everything. But now, I don't have any clue if the spirit of Jesus Christ actually exists. I don't knock the people that worship whoever they worship, more power to them. I just can't find it within myself to feel okay with being in a place where I might become isolated because of something that I cannot change in myself. I have met a lot of great Christian people, but for some reason, in the past few years, I have come to have a great deal of mistrust towards them until they prove that they are not 'like the rest of them'. I take it as they are always mocking me, and wishing me ill, and saying that I am a mistake. And it hurts. A lot. So much so that I feel uncomfortable around some of my family members now, because I feel as if they are always judging me for who I am. And even going to church makes me tense, because I feel that, if I walk into a church, everyone will instantly begin judging me for who I am. This brings me to my third article.

3) I use my sexual orientation as a weapon. While this statement may seem really abnormal to some people, let me explain for just a moment. My brother asked me tonight why I felt uncomfortable going to church, and I told him that I couldn't deal with going to a place where people might consider me an 'abomination' for being myself. He told me that 'I'm taking a bad thing, and making it worse.', and that I was taking my orientation too far. I got really upset, and I still have absolutely no desire to talk to him about it at all. Maybe he's right. Maybe I do take it 'too far', and I make a bad thing worse. I have gotten to the point where I am reverse stereotyping everyone who I initially meet who is a follower of a religious faith. Because they obviously might start attacking me at any moment, verbally, physically, mentally, it doesn't matter. But besides that, I also make jokes about it in front of random people occasionally, such as my Dynamics of Human Development prof, and the entire class. I also use it against people who do believe in God, or whatever, because they might be a potential threat, so I use my orientation as a wall to prevent someone from potentially hurting me. Because I refuse to let someone close enough to hurt me unless they show me that they aren't going to walk away from me for no reason.

4)I act like a total (WARNING THERE IS A BAD WORD HERE SO IF YOU WANT TO SKIP IT GO TO THE NEXT ALL CAPS PART AND IT WILL COVER THE WORD UP)

bitch

(ALRIGHT IT IS OKAY TO LOOK AGAIN)

to people sometimes. Like I said before, I can talk shit all day, but if someone makes a single, off-hand comment or reprimands me for acting stupid, I shatter like glass. I can't even begin to describe how often this can happen. And how upsetting, stupid, and immature it makes me feel after it happens. I know that I should learn to take things in stride better, but I still struggle to even vaguely attempt to let go of it. And it will eat me away. It's like dipping metal into sulfuric acid. So, as such, I am a failure at 'forgive and forget' most of the times.

5)I swear. Constantly. It's a terrible habit. I also don't use nearly the amount of words or variants of words that I used to use. Mostly because I stopped writing poetry/literature unless it sporadically comes upon me, but also because I just refuse to find a better word for some things. Especially when I feel the need to drop the 'f' word every few sentences in conversations with friends. It's a hindrance, and I hate it. Those words have power to emphasize things, and I use them as if they were salt and pepper. As such, it's just horrible, and I hate doing it.

So, there's a reason I'm doing this. I hurt a great deal inside. And I make a lot of stupid mistakes, and whore around because it helps me feel better about myself, my life, or whatever else I feel might impact me. I can't just let things go and try and hold my tongue. Because all I want to do is be that sassy, scathingly sarcastic guy that people think is funny. Except my sarcasm can occasionally come back and bite me hardcore in the butt.

I needed to put this up, so that I, and other people can attempt to grasp what I'm trying to deal with. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and just let the world fly by, because it would be so much easier. And even though I know I can't do that, the thought is still appealing.

I reach too far, and I get burned. All I wanted in middle school was to be 'popular', and I found out that I couldn't be that even if I wanted to. I can't deal with cut-throat, no matter how strong my front appears to be. I'm weak, and fragile, and I'm falling apart at the seams some days.

I just...I hate myself, a lot, almost all the time. It's not something I can stop right away, it will take time. But I wish it was.

Nothing like venting to the Internet.

Okay guys. Lack of posts, I know. Whatever.

Tonight is going to be me venting about how much of a fuck up I am, and how much I wish I could go jump off of a bridge right now, but can't. Regardless, hold on to your metaphorical hats.

Okay, there are three situations that I need to get through, once that's done with, then I'll stop venting. Promise.

1. Okay, guy who I'm friends with, we're really close, almost had a fling going on. Is sort of a friends with benefits thing. Anyways, I care about this dude a helluva lot, but unfortunately, he and I can never date. It's complicated, and I do not want to discuss it here. But, if you talk to me privately, I'll get back to you. Anyways, he and I are really close. He talks about his best friend, we'll call him Max, a lot. And I was curious about meeting this guy. He seemed really cool. I asked about meeting him sometime, and he gave me an evasive answer and moved on. I was confused, because, why would you not want me to talk to someone? Are they injected with pure evil or something? Anyways, I saw this guy at Pride today. I went and talked to him on a hunch that it was the same person. It was, anyways, Max and I ended up talking, and I said I'd like to hang sometime. We exchanged numbers, said our goodbyes, and separated. I texted him a little later, bored, and ready to do something else, and asked him if he wanted to hang. He said sure, we went and got coffee, talked, walked around the mall. No big deal. We ended up going back to his place and hanging out more, we fooled around a little. I left, the end. Or at least, I thought it was. Anyways, I told the first guy, who I'll call Mike, that I had hung out with Max. He said Max had told him, and asked me if we'd done anything. I said we fooled around. Mike didn't reply to my text. I sent him one back that said that I though Max was a nice guy, and I wasn't sure why I couldn't hang with. No response. End of sit. 1.

2. Okay, two guys who I'm talking to. One is older, works in an adult book store, and is really cute/funny/nice. The other guy is early 20's, cute/funny, but not my type. I had asked guy number one to hang out today, he said sure. And then he got body paint at Pride and wandered around by himself. I assumed that he didn't want to hang out. And it also irritates me that he never texts me and asks to hang out. Except the very first time we hung out. The other times, has been all me. I finally sent him a text, after he saw me tonight with boy #2, and asked why I was with him. I told him how I felt about boy #2, and then told him that I really liked him. And that I wanted to be with him, but it seemed like I bothered him every time I texted him. And I also pointed out the fact that he didn't really wanna hang tonight. He didn't respond to the text. I have yet to tell boy #2 that I'm not super interested, but I'm not sure how to, because he's really nice and cute. But..not who I want.

Finally, I don't have a third situation, I'm just frustrated with myself, and ready to cry. And, I don't know what to do.

So thank you Internet, for letting me vent. I appreciate it.

It's Been A While....

So...I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. It sucks, but I've been busy, understandably.

First things first, Spring Break is TOMORROW!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!

Well, a lot of crazy junk has happened lately. Mostly because of a lot of stuff has changed since I've posted. Like, I added a Religion minor! It's pretty exciting, but I'm super pumped for it. The classes are going to be fantastic, and I really enjoy my kind of, sort of adviser Professor DeBerg. She's a great professor, and her Religions of the World class inspired me to go for this. Now, you all might be thinking I'm totally psychotic for doing this, because I mean, Music Ed majors have no life as it is, so you're adding six extra classes to your huge class load already? What madness is this?! Well, my madness. I find the academic study of religion fascinating. So, I'm going for it.

Let's see, the Orchestra is working on Scherezade by Rimsky-Korsakov right now. That's exciting. I mean, I played it a few years ago, but whatever, it's fun to play it with an excellent conductor. And Professor Girard is probably the best conductor I've ever had. Just saying.

Another new thing, this guy who I like. He's really cool, and a good friend. I sincerely enjoy spending time with him. Problem is, he's not ready to be in a relationship. But that's okay. I can wait. I want him to be comfortable and okay with me. In all honesty, I'm not even sure if he likes me in that way in any sort of sense. I'm pretty sure we're decent friends, and we went on a fantastic date a few weeks ago, and maybe I sort of pushed that, but I've decided to back off and let him make his own decisions. I just wish I could tell him how much I care. But, I physically cannot get the words out when I want to say it. Even at points where it would be convenient to tell him. Anyways, I'm not letting it get me down. He needs time, and I'm willing to give him as long as it takes. But it is something worth fighting for, and I am not giving up. I've never wanted something this much in my life, and if I have to fight until he graduates, well, I'll fight. And I might lose, but again, never wanted something this much before.

Also, I joined Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia (Beta Nu Chapter), and it's pretty exciting. The guys in it are all super cool, and I like a lot of them. A couple get on my nerves, but, you know, that happens in any and every group you're in. I'm happy to be there because they do SO MUCH for the school of music. Running Tallcorn is a HUGE undertaking. So, I'm glad to help.

Well, I have to go to a study session now, but I'm glad to have posted. It feels nice to talk about this stuff. Hope everyone has a good day/night/afternoon, whenever you read this.

And so we enter Valentines Day....

Hey all, sorry for the lack of blogging lately. Me being busy and well, lazy can account for me not putting a post up in the past few days.

Anyways, the past few days have been INTENSE. For example....Wednesday was a masterclass with the Maia Quartet, which I have to say, kinda kicked my butt. In a good way of course. It was nice to get some feedback, especially since my group is playing a Prokofieff quartet that's really difficult. But their recital was really cool, although they played a Danish piece that I didn't get AT ALL.

Thursday was the usual weird day it is, for example, I didn't go to my 12:30 class, so I got to eat lunch, and take a nap, before quartet. YAY! Oh, and I went to The Hub with Scott, Jenn, and Megan so we could watch Jazz 1 play. I didn't get to see my beloved Mad play though, which saddens me to the depths of my soul.

Friday night was the Wind Symphony/Symphonic Band concert, sat with Melissa and Scott's family and had a good time. Definitely fell asleep during the Irish songs though. I was so freaking tired. But the rest of the concert was SPECTACULAR. The Candide piece made my life.

Saturday was...interesting. Went to the Waterloo Mall with Megan and Scott, then went to a movie with Scott later. We saw True Grit, excellent movie, the ending sucked, but what ever.  Then Scott and I hung out with Madeline and Marion and watched 101 Dalmations. Good times. haha


Tonight, I was inducted as a probationary member of Phi Mu Alpha (Beta Nu Chapter), and I have to say, I'm really excited. I never saw myself joining a fraternity, but I mean, come on, music fraternity? Must join.

Okay, now to my lesson dealy thing. The lesson I'm talking about today is love. In the day to come, a lot of people are going to give presents, and be ridiculously happy with their significant other, and love them a lot. But I mean, come on, people act like Valentines Day is a renewal of their love and caring for each other, but honestly, shouldn't you care about your significant other equally throughout the year? It just seems kind of pointless.

Now, for us single people out there, don't let Valentines Day get you down. It's a celebration of love, but use it as an opportunity to tell your friends/family that you love them! It's a day that reminds us that we're all alone at some point, but we have to accept that fact, and get comfortable in our own skin. As awfully hard as that is for some people, take heart friends, we all have to face this. You can always talk to someone else about it. So, general lesson is this: Couples, please love each other and have a good time. But always remember that just because it's Valentines Day, doesn't mean you can't say 'I love you' any other day of the year. To all the Single Ladies (and Gentlemen) out there, we can keep going, get comfortable with yourself and have a good time with your friends or family tomorrow! Make it a celebration of having great people in your life!

Off With Your Head!

Yes, I titled my current blog post after a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song, which I have only ever heard of because of Glee. You would think that with my brief obsession with Brit Pop I would have discovered them or something. Apparently not. Regardless, "Heads Will Roll" is a very good song. Kinda creepy, but the lyrics are very definitive.

On that note, Glee on Sunday was SPECTACULAR! I missed it so. The music, the characters, the drama. Mmmm....it makes me quiver with antici..........pation.

Anyways, past few days were interesting. Scott went home again this weekend (although this time it was for work/family stuff) so I had the room to myself, again. Did I do anything social? Not really...I played Mass Effect, A LOT. I should have gone out and done something, but being my slightly anti-social self, I declined doing any such thing!

Megan and I went to a Super Bowl party in Haggeman and I ate a TON of food. I was soooo hungry, and watching football didn't help. I cheered for the Steelers. Why? Because I dislike the Packers (mostly on principle, because my roommate adores them), but regardless, I actually attempted to care about football. It was pretty fun watching it with a bunch of people. But I can't see myself ever just watching it myself.

I got this book a few weeks ago that I am currently skimming through (for the umpteenth time since it arrived at my room), and I can't stop reading it. The book is called "Hero" by Perry Moore. This guy is the producer of the Chronicles of Narnia movies, is that cool or what?

Anyways, the book is about this kid, named Thom Creed. He lives in a universe that is almost like someone smashed DC and Marvel Comics together and created some sort of super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot universe where there are tons of superheroes. Don't get me wrong, I've always had a superhero fan standing. But this book has pushed it beyond normal. Thom, the main character, plays basketball, and has the ability to heal people he touches. But, he also is gay. Now, in this universe, gay superheroes are unheard of. He's still in the closet, but as the book goes on, he eventually comes out and is removed from the League. It also forces him to have various confrontations with his dad, a former superhero who is now retired, and is a homophobe.

I'm not going to spoil the end, but this book seriously hits home. I've had plenty of confrontations with my dad, and even though he and I love each other, there are plenty of points where I feel like I want to punch him in the face or something. But parents do that, they irritate the hell out of their children, but we still love them anyways.

This book has also hit home in the fact that there are NOT a lot of gay superheroes. In fact, Perry Moore has a list on his website of all of the gay superheroes in existence, and there are not a lot of mainstream ones. The ones that are have horrible things happen to them, or eventually become straight. It's a manipulation of the comic book industry that discriminates against the LGBT community. Honestly, it's disgusting the fact that the LGBT community has been mistreated so in the comics.

So, I've started writing about gay superheroes, not mainstream ones, ones of my own creation. I'm determined that there should be more mainstream gay culture, which includes comic books and superheroes. We shouldn't have to hide in the closet ever in real life, but hiding in the closet AND hiding a secret identity, isn't that a little much to ask?

DEATH STORM 2011 (Otherwise known as a rather cold Tuesday)

So, as I wait to go to the Phi Mu Alpha meeting, I ponder why meteorologists feel the need to make a huge deal out of every weather event in existence. In the beginning of winter "OMG WE'RE GOING TO HAVE, LIKE, 30000000000 INCHES OF SNOW! THE WORLD'S GONNA END!!!!"

...and that's when we end up having an inch of snow.

But, if tomorrow does turn out to be as bad as they say it will be, it seems like it might be a pretty good idea to not have school (here's hoping...).

Anyways, enough about the awful weather. I had a pretty good day today. Stayed inside (mostly), I went to class, went to quartet, went to practice, you know, all that good stuff. The food in Piazza was awful today. I'm not sure if they're running out of ideas/ingredients/plausible meal choices...but it was just not pleasant. I mean, come on, tonight they had a decent dinner set. Awesome. At lunch? They had...six different directions of junk. It wasn't pretty. Just saying.

Gender Studies was interesting today. We talked about six different ways that women are assimilated into masculine words! And there was a rather amusing argument where one girl decided that she should announce that the 'n' word apparently was defined as a 'stupid person' in the dictionary, and if we simply stated that we were using the dictionary definition, it would be okay for people to use it in conversations. Yeah...that didn't go so well. A guy sitting a few rows ahead of her started arguing with her, and made a very valid point: all words have history, and all words have power. The power and history of that particular word is too strong for one to even THINK about using it in a conversation. I mean, come on, really? That's not a good word period.

Anyways, it was rather interesting to think about how women are degraded through the use of words like "ladies" or "girls", because in a sense, they are demeaning the women by purposing them as inferior to men. If you call a fully grown man a boy, you will probably get punched in the face. It's an insult. But people assume that it is correct to call women that. Gender-stereotyping in language is a terrible thing!

Quartet practice was interesting, as we spent about the first ten minutes of rehearsal waiting for the cellist to show up. I plunked out some Spring Awakening (although I can only play about 10 bars of Whispering (before I epic fail at playing piano). I also did some practicing with the stuff Tori talked about yesterday. Yay!

Anyways, I also got to spend a lovely two hours not having to do anything before Quartet. It was fabulous. I got to like, breath. You know, that necessary life thing? Yeah.

UPs and DOWNs time!!!!

UPs
- I got to listen to copious amounts of Spring Awakening today.
- Phi Mu Alpha meeting tonight!
- Good piano practicing today.

DOWNs
- I didn't get to see my Madeline today. :(
- It's freaking cold as hell outside.
- None of my classes were canceled today. 
- Food in Piazza sucked.

So, lesson of the day? Be careful of the words you use. They are potent, and even if you don't think they are particularly powerful, it doesn't mean that you should use them. 

Off to my meeting. S'later all! 

Blustery-Wustery Monday (No. 1)

Hello all, hope everyone is surviving this abysmal weather known in other places as winter.

Although, if the newscasters had their way, tonight, and tomorrow night might as well be considered "DEATH STORM 2011!!!!" (music provided by THE OMINOUS WEATHER ORCHESTRA) I mean, okay, it's snowing. And, okay, I guess it's pretty windy. But you know, it's nothing we haven't seen before. At least, I guess, most of us?

Okay, maybe I'm not super excited about the weather tomorrow. Well, I guess I can deal. Sorta...

So, today had a lot of ups and downs. I'll make a short list, and then highlight some of my better moments.

UPs
- My Religions class got canceled, which gave me an extra hour between Viola Studio and Orchestra!
- The extra credit assignment (which I hadn't done) got pushed back to Wednesday (which means I got to finish it). 
- Madeline and I performed a spectacular version of the classic Disney hit, "A Whole New World" in front of the Piano lab. 
- I got Mass Effect in the mail today!

DOWNs
- Piano class was Hell today. 
- It was really freaking cold outside
- I didn't get to see my favorite short person (Megan) at dinner.
- I had to be responsible and practice and stuff like that...

Okay, first: I want to clarify something. Piano was Hell both metaphorically and literally. Literally, because I decided today that Dr. Guy should hang a sign outside of the door that says: "Welcome to Hell!" Metaphorically because she was definitely in a bad mood, and she definitely ragged on the entire class, and I felt like shit after I left. Ugh....

Bright side? Madeline and I singing a duet. It was pretty epic. And entitling the Piano lab. And, well, us laughing hysterically just being in each others presence. I also got the first in the game series I started playing (I started with the 2nd one, the 3rd one isn't out yet). It's different, but a good different? To be announced...

   
Anyways, for those who thought I might post a riveting life lesson that might be present in today's blog post, well...I have one. I guess. haha

I'm not good at asking people for help. I would be the first person to admit this. In fact, I happily admit it, right after I fall on my ass because I did something stupid that could have been avoided had I asked for help. Like me passing Geometry the first time I took it, or not tripping down the stairs with a pile of my stuff in my arms. You know, little things like that...

Okay, point is: I gave in and asked for help. My friend Tori coached me on some of my piano stuff that had been hurting me for a while. PLUS she gave me some really awesome tips on how to practice stuff. It was pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. It also is helping me divide my hands into two separate instruments, unlike when I'm playing viola. Or singing, but I don't use my hands when I sing (or do I?).

So, lesson of the day? Never be afraid to ask for help. It's not a weakness, it's simply the fact that we as humans cannot rely solely on ourselves. It's just something we have to get over. But, you know, I think I can deal with that. It felt good to ask for help.

 On that note, I'll let you all get back to your lives now and try and get some sleep. Yay! Sleep!

First Post, Important Lesson

So...tonight I had a very interesting conversation with a friend. My friend, who shall not be named, told me that her boyfriend (who is a devout Christian), had sent her a certain quote from the 2nd book of Corinthians in the Bible. Now, why might one be offended by this? Well, the thing is, my friend is Agnostic, she accepts different things from every religion, she isn't a devout follower of any religion. The quote from Corinthians was (according to BibleGateway.com) phrased like this.

 ¹⁴ Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? ¹⁵ What harmony is there between Christ and Belial^[a]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? ¹⁶ What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:
   “I will live with them
   and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
   and they will be my people.”^[b]
 17 Therefore,
   “Come out from them
   and be separate,
            says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
   and I will receive you.”<sup>[c]

Again, thank you Bible Gateway. Now, one might ask, how is this offensive? Well, for one thing, the quote at the beginning of the page indicated this: "Warning against Idolatry". First off, what is Idolatry? According to a few sources, it is considered, "the worship of a physical object as a god". 

Now, if all of you recall the Ten Commandments, one of them clearly states that "Thou shalt not worship idols". Which, again, going off on a slight tangent, I had no awareness that Agnostics worshiped idols. Since, most of the time, Agnostics don't worship anything. So, why might he send her this quote?

Well, to consider one thing, it might be because of the first part of the passage: "Do not be yolked together with unbelievers".

So, is he basically saying he doesn't want to be yolked with her? Well...I'm not exactly sure. There are mountains of debating theologians who argue the meaning of phrases in the Bible every single day. This one has probably been argued about before and will probably be discussed in future debates. 

Regardless, there is a message behind what I'm talking about. 

No matter your faith, no matter your view on life, no matter your gender/race/sexual orientation/body-type/personality/style, please remember that everyone on this planet is trying their hardest to make it by every day. Just trying to get through another day. So, if you have a comment about what someone believes, or how they dress, or what they view, please remember: we're all stuck here together. Let's not make this world any worse off than it actually is by arguing and criticizing others for who they are.</sup>